The Great Resignation

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. - Aristotle

It’s been going on for years. The mental pressure, the extreme sense of responsibility, the insurmountable effort to ensure that I always come through. This feeling of there being a heavy weight on my shoulder, and that no one can handle it but myself was a burden I bore — quietly and bravely.

I was not only balancing work, I was also balancing my own tears, frustrations, worries, motherhood responsibilities, being a wife and of course business.

2020 was particularly a daunting year for everyone. I discovered that even a ‘super woman’ can get anxiety related depression. But slowly I started to realized that I too was a ‘real human’ and perhaps, I had been doing too much for others and just not caring enough for me.

In what seemed like a short year, I’ve discovered that life is short and one has to look deeply into ones soul and ask oneself hard questions. Questions about what is more important, life or material wealth? Good health or beating that deadline no matter the cost? Family or that call from your boss when he says, ‘Great work Teresa!’

I really learnt many lessons last year. This year as I look back, I was really just persevering. I knew what I wanted to do (which was quit) but I couldn’t get the guts to do this. I would ask myself, ‘What would my family think?’

‘What would my friends think?’

‘What would my relatives think and also what would my husband say?’

These concerns were adding pressure to the already existing pressure. I felt that letting go of what many would consider a great job and a great career would be me saying that I had ‘given up on life’ that, ‘I was ungrateful’ and ‘didn’t know how God had favoured me.’

I kept thinking, there were so many people out there (in the midst of a hard economic time and COVID-19) who were looking for a job and why on earth would I ever consider quitting?

Then one day, in the middle of a virtual presentation, which I was ill prepared for I asked myself.

‘What am I doing?’

‘Why do I feel so so exhausted.’

‘Why am I not feeling the joy that came with the nature of my job?’

‘Why do I feel alone, sad and unfulfilled?’

That very day, as I had just finished a client presentation (which I went through like some zombie), I got a call from a friend who was at the meeting who asked me a deep question. It’s here that everything unraveled.

I made the decision.

I finally did it. I downed my tools at an enviable agency and said ‘it’s been real, y’all.’

‘Sema’, relief!

It’s been one week and I’m feeling so so much better already. As I serve notice, I’m not sure what will become of me. But what I do know is that I had made the right decision.

I chose me.

I chose peace.

I chose life!

Now is my time to recalibrate.

To stop giving till I’m empty.

To Feel.

To Breathe.

To Be.